"URGENT" Message from the President, Living in White House

My Fellow Americans,
It is with great anticipation and pride in our nation that I am announcing today "the full grant of support to the study and implementation of Project Goolaser.
When I took office, I promised to serve you and your families and the entire planet to be the best president ever. 
Now we will get to work on some of the most challenging issues of our times.
This a dark world and Goolaser has the power to light it up!
It is a cold, cold world. And Goolaser brings warmth.
But even when the political climate is too hot, Goolaser is always cool. 
What is Goolaser you ask?
And for the common man I answer,
The stuff of dreams and innovation, the very essence of human
resources and ingenuity.
But most of all, the collaborative nature of the greatest minds of our times, and this means you!
What have we got to lose? 
Wires above our heads? 
Wooden poles straining under a load of antiquated grid equipment and dangerous chemicals and high voltage?
And for what!
Energy that we consume so frivolously because we shaped our own demand. 
We are slave to ourselves, but Goolaser will set us all free. 
It is time to share the light and share the news, with all we know, that Goolaser is for all. And Goolaser is forever.
I ask that all concerned unite and ignite the Goolaser. 
Thank you! And may God Bless Everybody.
Goolaser has LIT the building.  

 

Somebody just lit the fiber!

You are the first to know. Yes , it's true! A well known mega firm has lit the fiber that will bring power and heat to the people! Through fiber optics, combined with solar focal collectors in the home, Goolaser has launched an aggressive plan to eliminate high heat bills and ugly power poles across the US. The new grid will be entirely underground and light will power the world. Please, don't tell anyone about this until we work out the bugs. The President of Goolaser will be making a statement shortly so keep your eyes out for our pending release. You know this is true, it can be done and Goolaser will make it happen! This may be considered a forward
 looking statement, but we are not looking back. Contact the president of GOOLASER here Mr.President and he will respond when he can. Thank you and you're welcome.